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Welcome to Miss Molly and Aspergers! :)

Hello there, welcome to my blog Miss Molly and Aspergers! My name is Molly and I am a teenage girl with Aspergers Syndrome.

I have created this blog to help create awareness of Autism Spectrum Disorder.

TIP: Search Aspergers on Facebook and you will find dozens of amazing communities and support networks! If you choose to interact in one of these communities, you may even make some great friends who are also Aspies, like I have.

Why you may find use in my blog:
Insight, support, self-research/experience and understanding (awareness) will be covered in the content of Miss Molly and Aspergers, including the following subjects and more:

- Bullying/dealing with peers
- Surviving in social situations
- Hobbies/Obsessions and Interests
- School/Life
- Communication - Social skills - Understanding spoken and unspoken language norms.
- Sensory Issues/ sound, smell, sight, taste, feel, (textures) - the ability to experience heightened senses - and coping with the strong diversions (intolerance)
- Importance of Routine and Structure
- Friendships
- Coping with Meltdowns and dealing with the aftermath (consequences - I.e Social embarrassment)
- Dealing with people who do not acknowledge the existence of The Autism Spectrum (ASD). People who therefore are unable to acknowledge the rhyme and reasons for your differences.

Copy Cats Beware

© Molly Tylor and Miss Molly and Aspergers, 2013-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Molly Tylor and Miss Molly and Aspergers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Thursday, November 22, 2012

An insight of the inside of Depression, Anxiety and Aspergers

Today I want to share you how experiencing Depression, Anxiety and Aspergers feels and why you cannot be sure if someone is really okay.

Life is like being under a cloud. Most days it will float above, up in the sky.
It may turn black and threaten a storm but it does nothing. It builds up, getting bigger and bigger. Then one day all the build up will turn into a big raining thunderstorm that will go on for days or even weeks. That is when it will flood and life becomes a big muddy mess! You're stuck and you don't know when you will be free again.

You get along with life, however you come upon everyday struggles. You do not show it but some of them deeply affect you on the inside. This is the cloud building up. You get on with life, with the cloud hanging over you.

Everyday the cloud gradually builds up with your stress and tension.
Then one day the storm hits! You feel you can no longer keep it inside. Your tension and stress is shared among those close to you. You break down, you cry. You feel miserable, anxious, worried and cannot relax no matter how hard you try. As long as the storm carries on you show emotion to how you are feeling. You want the storm to pass but it persists.

Most people come out of the storm eventually. Then it will begin to build up again until the next storm.
People with Anxiety, Depression and Aspergers; their storms are more frequent because we build up much more frequently.
We find stress in more things. Simple things people usually brush off, we add to our cloud. Because to us, we feel it's negativity intensely.
This happens especially when you face not seeing any positives to life (Depression). When you get bullied for who you are and people do not understand you. Even when you try to teach them, they refuse to understand (Aspergers). When you feel anxious every hour of everyday, every little stress or doubt is trigger (Anxiety).

It is hard for other people to understand why we feel like this. This is because most of the time we do not show or share our storms (exception to family because they are living and dealing with the person). Mostly we feel no one will understand and it is so hard to explain how we are feeling on the inside. The rain and the thunder is released in our own time. Away from where we can be put to shame. Yet this adds to the effect of the storm because we desperately want people to understand.

You need to know:
Just because someone shows no emotion or change in emotion to how they are being treated. The stress they are being caused, or something big that's happened in their life. Does not mean they are 'okay' and they are 'dealing' with it. It means we are afraid you won't understand.

- Molly <3 xo

Friday, August 24, 2012

Avoiding Confussion

 Aspie: A person who has Aspergers

As an Aspie I find it difficult in many daily situations; To interpret and follow simply instructions.
I often find myself asking questions to clarify what it is I am meant to be doing, but people get annoyed because I clarify too often. It is important you know I am not trying to be annoying I am just trying to understand.

Here is an example:

An Aspergers boy is asked simply to clear the table.
He would then follow your instructions and clear everything off the table. This including unfinished meals and drinks. In the eyes of the nerotypical person he is considered silly or stupid. However if he had asked before clearing the table: "Do I leave their drinks, what if people are still eating?"
He would also be considered silly, stupid or annoying for asking these questions rarely asked by neurotypical people. He may also be accused of not listening to instructions.

Aspies understand the words you say (What we hear directly). Not the meaning behind what you say. Especially sarcasm, jokes and when you tell us things that are not genuine.

Most Apies believe what they hear. We are not given enough time to think about the other properties and meanings of the words spoken, the majority of neurotypical people wouldn’t need this time because in my words: they just get it.
I find that I react before I have the time to think about what has been said, and I’ve done this for so long now it’s a habit. The influence of this is that I am afraid to stand there thinking because if I were to do this I would find myself thoroughly thinking it through as we do (we are not satisfied until we’ve looked at it from all angles).
This is when someone waves a hand in front of me to see if I am paying attention. I am often told I appear to be in my own world at times. This is usually when I am over thinking.

What we want you to understand:
I want people to understand and tolerate myself and others with Aspergers.
Our attributes shouldn’t be used against us or to humiliate us.
As well as this; you need to accept and answer our questions. They might sound silly or annoying however the point is we are people who deserve understanding.
Think about how it would feel to be in our situations. Where you would be in trouble for something you can’t help doing.
Considered rude, stupid, annoying? Well this is how we feel every day when faced common social situations.

~ Molly xo

Friday, August 3, 2012

The Mental Health System

Last week my mum contacted Mental Health here to see if I could go back. I was dissmissed from seeing a physiatrist there after they assumed I didn't need anymore help and because I was too old to be seen.

That was last year. I have faced apon new struggles. I have been hit with Depression again after sometime and my anxiety is unbearable.
I am struggling to see positives, all I do is dwell on the negatives. I have lost all interest in my hobbies that entertained and kept me happy.
It is very common for children and adults on the Autism Spectrum to have low serotonin levels in their brain. Therefore mum and I think I should have my medication reviewed and have alternative Antidepressants introduced.

The medication I am taking is: 20mg Lexapro (Maximum dosage) and 1.5mg of Rispirodol.
I feel the Lexapro is doing nothing at all. I was previously taking 10mg. 
2 years ago it was increased to 20mg. It is unsafe to increase it passed the maximum dosage requirement. Its time I had it changed.
Mum recieved a phone call yesterday from the head of Mental Health after my issues were taken to the board to be assessed. He simply said. The medications fine. Its appropiate. There is no need for us to see Molly.

That is the biggest thing that ticks me off! After all the issues and troubles I explained to the lady on the phone last week. he thinks its fine!? He hasn't even met me, how would he know!
That brings me back to an experience last year.
I was seen by a physiatrist for a medication review and he refused to change anything, because in the first five minutes he met me, he observed, that I was simply, just painfully shy!
I am very disappointed because I feel like the system doesn't care. they are suppose to help people, not shoo them away when they defiantly need help!

I am seeing a psychologist however through a private practice. This lady I see has no control over my medication. She costs over $150 a session which it is hard for my mum to afford. Therefore I can only see her every 2-3 weeks. There also is limited amount of sessions you can have with her a year. About 10-12.

Please share your stories.

~ Molly xo

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Bullying

Bullying is a major concern for Aspies
It is common for us to be bullied, humiliated and harassed. Simply because many people do not understand us or want to understand us.

In my experience even when I have explain to a person my different behaviors and reasons I act this way.
Most of the adolescences (even adults) who have bullied me have chosen not to understand.
I believe this is because they are scared of the unknown and are close-minded. 
Instead of learning about Aspergers they find it easier to ignore the information we provide.
Bullying occurs as a result. This is because they haven't learn how certain things we do are not to annoy them or irritates them. They do not understand it is who we are, we cannot help but be ourselves.

This year I am facing a new school for the first time.
So far I have told my new peers about my Aspergers. I thought (as I mentioned in my very first blog post);
I was bullied and mistreated in primary school because I never told anyone I had Aspergers. Therefore they didn't understand the way I did and perceived things.
So I this is why I decide to tell the people I meet. I told all of my peers I socialized with; I have Aspergers.
I've let them all know I am literal, and that I can misunderstand unclear or unspecific instructions.
Yet it is just as it was back in primary school.
It has worked out no better then if they didn't know at all I have Aspergers.
Reason being they won't take the time to listen to me or interpret the information I have told them.

I have tried sharing these posts on Facebook. However there are people who just do not care.
You can spread awareness as much as you like. However you cannot possibly make them understand unless they actually want to listen or read the information.

I have figured this:
Those who matter will listen and read because they care about you, and how being misunderstood affects you.
I see it this way: If someone hasn't taken the time to read or listen to the information you provided for them. Yet they continue to play pranks on you and tell you confusing jokes, even when you've told them hundreds of times, you are literal.
They are not worth anything to you. because this proves they simply DO NOT CARE.

What do you do about people who do not care about you? You do not care about them back!


In my experience. I like people to like me. Therefore I am nice to absolutely everyone at my own expense.
Constantly I find myself letting people get away with trampling all over me like I'm a door mat.

I worry about what people would do and say if I stood up to them. I never want the peace being disturbed and people not liking me.
So I let everyone get away with everything they do to me. This is when I am lucky to have my amazing mum.
Even when I say: No! do not intervene, just let it go!
She will ignore what I have said and go ahead with getting authority involved. This is because she knows I will keep getting treated badly until I have stood up for myself.
I never did this because I have always worried I will get someone in trouble.

I understand what I HEAR. Usually I cannot pick the MEANING behind what I hear.
If someone is being nice and encouraging me to do things, I will think it is because they are being genuine and are excited by what I can do.
However time after time it turns out it was a plan to humiliate and embarrass me.

MY ADVICE:
Let your parents intervene!
If they don't, because you want everything to be calm, and want to be liked.
People will think they can do anything to you and they won't ever stop! So stand up for yourself! 
If you cannot do it on your own, please let your parents, guardians or a trusted relation help.

REMEMBER:
Do not worry what others say, they don't matter to you.
You will not be in school your whole life!
There is a huge world out there beyond the school yard and classroom.
So do the best you can in school. Achieve at what you are good at!
You will be able to succeed in life, look back and be grateful you spent more time worrying about your future beyond school instead of trying to fit in and be liked.

I can also tell you now. Yes there are many people out there who do not want to understand you. However that is not to say there isn't!
There are many people, just as many out there who are open-minded, caring, understanding, accepting, tolerant and appreciative.
Be yourself! The right people, these people, will come to you in time. Continue to be your amazing self who has so many brilliant qualities. You will attract these people. Just as I have done.

I have had bad experiences with many bullies, close-minded and nasty people. However I have just as many if not more people who love me for who I am and appreciate my Aspergers qualities. There is hope for you too!

I better finish this post now, before it gets any longer. Hehe.

- Molly xo


Friday, June 15, 2012

My experience with school work

Hello everyone, today I would like to share my experiences with school work, as maybe you might be able to relate yourself or your children to what I have to share.

Being an Aspie I have a pretty cluey mind, I am great at Maths, and I put a lot of detail into my school work, also this detailing habit almost always means I go over the word limit by hundreds in my assignments and essays.

I have a lot of trouble getting all my work done in class time, as I like to perfect what I am doing, I am also very sensitive to noise and discussions between students in class as this can make it difficult for me to concentrate on the task in front of me.

I find, particularly during Maths class, I have to process the question in my own way. If I get distracted I just have to re work out the sum even if I have written half of it already.

I have struggles interpreting questions but once I know what it means and I understand what I have to do, it just clicks in my brain and I can work it all out really well.

Maths is my favourite subject by the way, all I can say is I find everything just fits together, unlike English where there is so many variations to one question, and theories I struggle upon the most. Theories are particuly challenging for Aspies, because we are very factual and literal. Thats why maths is great its all facts and figures..which means there is a straight answer.

I end up taking a lot of my work home to finish in my own time where I can concentrate better and work while not under pressure.

The hardest thing for me with school work is when we have to take notes from videos, I don't get enough time to process what is happening on the screen therefore I cannot drop down a note on it in time. And also because the one screen is being viewed by the whole class it is very impracticable for the other students and teacher for me to ask for it to be re-winded and paused in between doting down notes. Distance Education was a great advantage for me through out my time with Brisbane School of Distance Education, I had only myself to worry about and I could have as much time as I need and the free will to pause and rewind.

I would like to aware that, having a mind that processes slower by all means does not make you dumb, I get B's and A's when I allow myself time to work at my own pace by taking my assignments home to do. Aspies can be very intelligent people they just need to have adjusted working conditions to feel comfortable, and then they can really shine and produce some magnificent work.


What are your or your childrens experiences with school work? Please feel free to reply below I am always egar to here others experiences with Aspergers Syndrome. :)


- Molly

Friday, June 1, 2012

Motivation Tips for Study

I have a few tips to share that I use to help get me motivated to study or to work on assignments or homework.

1. Have a clean and tidy space to work in:
I find if my room and desk is messy and unclean I feel yuck. It is also a reminder of something I have do, which distracts my mind from concentrating on the work in front of me.

2. Have a quiet space away from distractions to work in (unless you enjoy noises such as music while studying):
Nothing stops me from getting my work done than a loud noise in the back ground or one of my kittens jumping around my room messing things up.
So close the doors or windows if there is noise outside, or turn the tv off or ask your family to quite things down.Or if your like me with a pet that runs a muck, pick them up and take them outside and shut the door.

3. Energies you brain:
 I am intolerant to caffeine, so I know of other alternatives to give yourself a boost.
The best alternative is: Mint!
Mint is known as an excellent brain stimulant. You can get this benefit of mint from herbal mint tea to drink before you start or sip during your study.
And lolly mints are great too. They are also good because having something in your mouth to chew on and taste helps many people to concentrate.

4. Have short breaks to refresh yourself:
10 to 15 minute breaks are great in between study. You can use this time to stretch and do some brief exercises and have a snack.
When choosing a snack opt for something like fruit and nuts.
Having a sugary snack such as a chocolate bar will give you initial energy but this energy is from sugar that is high GI which means you get this boost, but it won't last and you will end up having a real low.  Which could result in fatigue and lack of concentration. Fruits and nut sugars are low GI which means that when consumed you can sustain energy for longer.

5. Think about how you will feel once you have it all done:
You will have a weight lifted off your shoulders and you will have time to do what you like without worrying about the study you have to do.

I hope these will help you. Leave a comment below, if you like. I would love to know how you went or if you have anyone other tips to share. :)

~ Molly xo

Aspies struggle to think before acting/speaking - please read this to understand

I would like to share this experience of mine.

I have found after settling into my new school, my first mainstream high school after 4 years of Distance Education, I have a habit that has resurfaced.

I mention in my first post that I had taught myself to "think before I act".

However I am finding I am starting to increasingly slip things out with out thinking.
This is a detrimental Aspergers trait.

Many Aspergers kids have this trouble which can cause them to be bullied and looked down upon.

There are things we will say or do in the present. Only after will we realize it was the wrong thing to have done and that's when we suffer consequences. Wether that be punishment for a wrong doing or conflict from peers.

We do this because we say what ever comes to top of our thoughts. It is to do with how we process information.
This can cause us to say things we mean a different way to how others interpret it.
Once said we are left with the struggle to convince the others what we were actual meant to say. Which can easily back fire as they get confused and we easily stumble over words.

We will speak what our brain have processed from the present social situations and surroundings. This is a way of release for us. This can be an issue when we think things through differently to what is actually going on.

There are Aspies that will not acknowledge their wrong doing.
For those who do; we will spend a lot of time and energy dwelling on our mistakes.

I ask for those of you supporting, living, working and socializing with an Aspie:
 To tell us when we do or say something wrong whilst giving us understanding.

If we known the difference between the wrong and right things we do and say. We can acknowledge our mistakes and learn from them.

Please recognize it is very hard to train our minds to "think before we act". 
We can improve this and may eventually train ourselves to do this completely. However sometimes through difficult situations our speaking/doing before we think can again become prevalent.

If you can understand this is a hard thing for us to do and to accept the odd thing we will say. Things will be much more pleasant for all in the situation.

~ Molly xo

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Difference between OCD and Aspergers Obsessions

Aspergers people can have a tendency to have obsessions.

When I was four I was initially diagnosed with OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
I always wash my hands too much, and get easily upset when things were out of place.
The main reason I washed my hands too much was because I did not like the feeling of food, dirt, etc on my them. (hypersensitive symptom of Aspergers)
I apparently had an obsession over germs. I acknowledge I have a bit of OCD. However the little OCD obsessions I had were confused with my Apspergers obsessions.
This is when treatment for OCD didn't work.

Psychologists tried treating me for OCD only.
A person with OCD most of the time can be reassured which helps them stop what they are obsessing over. From my experience as a child with ASD I would meltdown and get highly upset when I was made to stop what I was doing.

Unlike a person with OCD, who does not enjoy their compulsive behavior.
An Aspie usually enjoys their obsession: Ie: An online game, school work, music, collecting, sport. cleaning etc. (Yes some of us do enjoy cleaning)
At times one obsession will become the full focus of an Aspies mind.
This will be all they want to do and concentrate on. This can be frustrating for their family members and friends.

My experience when I was a child, when I had friends I would constantly want to do this one thing.
I would spend hours doing it if I could. When they didn't want to, I would nag and wing and get upset and meltdown. This is one reasons I could never keep friends.

Overtime these obsessions will change or may never change.

Aspies have the abilitiy to concentrate and spend so much time and energy on one obsession. Aspies can become very successful people because of this. Look at Bill Gates and the scientists of humanities history.

This can be seen as an advantage. However if an Aspie becomes fixated on a negative obsession, things can become difficult and upsetting.
Examples of this are dangers, a risk to their safety/health and/or if an Aspie becomes interested in fashion or their appearance.
When an Aspie becomes aware of their physical appearance negative behaviours can become prevalent. This is because we are perfectionists. When we feel we cannot perfect, our self esteem becomes in jeopardy.

Parents can help prevent these negative obsessions by encouraging positive ones. By encouraging Aspies to concentrate on a positive obsession, positive behaviours come to place.
When we are concernating or becoming obbessive with our obbsessions it is highly important to introduce other priorities politely (Not by yelling or demanding). 
Keep watch and give Aspies guidance. Ask for help if they begin focusing on negative obsessions.

~ Molly xo



Friday, May 25, 2012

Introduction - Aspergers Me

My name is Molly.


For as long as I can remember I have always been different. I have had a battle with fitting in for my whole life.


My family and I have moved around so much.
I have been to so many schools and every time I went to begin a new school.
I would say to myself;
"this is a fresh start Molly. If you you change the way you act. Think before you do or say anything. You will be accepted. You will make friends at this new school".
This never worked. I always spoke what I thought. I didn't know then. This was something you were not suppose to do. 
I got bullied at every primary school I went to, because they didn't understand me.


In 2008 I left mainstream school. I began homeschooling through distance education.
I really gave my mum some hell. However we pushed through the struggles and I managed to completed year 10 of high school.

I am now in year 11. I have made an integration into TAFE to complete my last two years of high school.


Somehow I changed through my duration of Distance Education.
I taught myself 'the think before you act' rule. I use to be a crazy kid. Now I have turned myself into this quiet, shy, mature person. This however only applies around people who are not my family, lol.


I am a teenage girl with Aspergers Syndrome.
Aspergers is an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).


I now realise I made a mistake. I never told anyone in primary school I had Aspergers. 
I was always concerned when my mum mentioned it to someone. 
Maybe if I said something then they would know why I behaved that way. 
However I was young and so were and they. They would not have really known what Aspergers was, nor did I really. 


People with Aspergers (Not all these traits will apply to every Aspie):
  • Can be hypersensitive: ie; sensitive to loud noises, can get emotional easily
  • Find it hard to make and keep friends
  • Find it hard to hold and keep eye contact, read and understand facial expressions and body language.
  • Have an absence feeling of empathy or a prevalence of too much empathy. (Certain triggers set of our empathy. For example when I found an old picture of my cat. I never grieved until then. I broke down and cried for days when I found this)
  • Do not get hints and social cues.
  • Can have great intellectual capabilities
  • Have good memories and ability to retain knowledge
  • Can be very literal; such as with jokes and pranks
  • Develop special interests which Aspies have great ability to have a full focus of. (Aspies can be very successful because of this capability because of their obsessiveness over one hobby/interest).
  • Begin speaking at early age or usual age (Unlike Autism as Autistic children usually beginning speaking at a later age).
  • Can have rigid and inflexible thinking: Can not get Aspie to change their idea or thoughts on a situation.


I have created this blog with intention to help other people and teenagers with Aspergers like me. I want you to know there are more people out there then you know.


I understand what it is like to:
  • Not be accepted or understood by your peers
  • Be made fun of and bullied because you see things differently to others
  • Feel like you have a label which will be with you all your life (You need to bring it up as an excuse for the way you may have behaved in a situation).
  • Feel like you have to do things a certain way no matter how silly it appears to others.
  • Be pushed around from one psychologist to another, a never ending battle to find stability in the Mental Heath System.
  • Feel embarrassed after meltdowns which you feel like you can not control them.
  • Feel frustrated when you cannot get people to understand how you see a situation


I have so much more to share, but for now this will be my introduction. Please follow and feel free to leave a comment. I would love to hear from you! :)